Children, pre-teens and functionally retarded adults across America can sigh with relief: Their favourite boy wizard is back. But are kids, young adults and the mentally stupid Potter’s target audience any more?

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Before his sentencing earlier this year on a felony burglary conviction, Andrew McCormack filled out a form which asked for a “recommendation as to what you think the Court should do in this case.” The Montana man, 20, wrote, ” Like the Beetles (ops!) say, ‘Let It Be.’ “

Well, that response did not sit well with Gregory Todd, a 56-year-old District Court judge (and a strong Beatles fan). In a sentencing memorandum, a copy of which you’ll find below, Todd first corrected McCormack’s misspelling and then schooled the young defendant on the band’s discography. But in the end, Todd sentenced McCormack to just three years probation, and ordered him to perform community service and pay a fine.

My father used to say “Don’t stop until you’ve crossed the finish line!”.  This dude would’ve benefited from having a father like mine (and been able to listen to him).

I don’t even feel sorry for him!

Marc Gicquel was totally knocked out after receiving a serve moving 208 km/h just where it hurts the most.

Grabbing it by the balls… Marc Gicquel receives medical attention after the “impact”. Photo: AFP

It was a genuine killer-serve by German Benjamin Becker in the second round of the ATP-tournament in Halle (Germany) Thursday. Opponent Gicquel didn’t manage to react at all before the ball travelling at 208 km/h joined his own.

The Frenchman went straight down on the grass but a medic immediately rushed to help. The first-aid consisted of immediate rest in the most comfortable position possible (if any).

Ice ice baby… Marc Gicquel recovered eventually. Photo: AFP

After a while the poor Frenchman moved to sitting position and received a bag or two of cooling ice from the manly helper. The player himself helped by placing the “treatment” to its final destination (for the record). The medic also kindly encouraged the crowd to stop laughing even though the situation was rather funny (even Gicquel seams to be smiling).

At the end of the game Gicquel could look back at a great win (6-2, 7-6) and probably down at two (temporarily) tennis-sized body parts. In the third round he’s facing Jarkko Nieminen from Finland.

I wish him the best of luck! “Break a ball…” 

Problems catching the order??? Well here’s the lyrics…